A Passion For Sex - Short Extracts

I totally admit I'm obsessed with threesomes.  Always have been, always will be.    I feel like there are 'two states of existence' for me – being with two men (between two  men!), or not being with two men.  I am constantly striving to get myself into the former  state!  Only then am I truly happy!  * * * * * So let me run through some of the men I met through contact ads…    There was Gerry, a mainstream, confident guy who became the general positive role  model for some of the male characters in my writing.    I think, but I'm not sure, that he was probably the first guy to lick me off.    There was Dennis, who I let be the first to (gently!) fuck me in an alternative orifice.    There was Jim, who had a wonderful way of finger-fucking me from behind whilst I stood  up against a wall, and who used to ask me to join him when he had the keys to some office  or other that he had the cleaning contract for!    Do people realise their cleaners might be fucking their girlfriends on the reception area  carpet?! * * * * * Now come on, I'd really like to know – what proportion of people know what their 'score' is?  It's a pretty significant thing in one's life, surely.     I find it difficult to believe that most people don't know how many lovers they've had – I bet  most people know very well.  Maybe guys who have really fucked around a lot, maybe  women on the swinging scene who go to lots of parties and are often drunk – maybe they  lose count or don't care.    But once you've started counting, it becomes a habit, and you don't stop.  * * * * * You lose that thrill of seeing members of the opposite sex naked, once you grow familiar  with it. You can't ever really get back to that feeling of novelty, and it being something  special.    Once you've seen as many men get naked as I have, there isn't much that can surprise  you.  You see guys walking round – or sitting opposite you in a train (guess where I'm  writing this?!) – and you know exactly what they'll look like with their kit off.  All there is to  wonder about is the details – is it big, is it 'cut' (foreskin-less), are his balls shaved?  * * * * * It's another thing that intrigues me.  How many women, in history in general, have gone  through life without ever having had orgasms?  Is it something which, if you were never told  about and never shown – if you never touched yourself, and no man ever bothered to touch  you in the right way, or if you thought it was sinful and shameful – you would spend your  whole life never knowing?  Of course this must have been the case.    A man's arousal is more obvious, so I guess boys discover these things more easily.  The  erection is there in front of you, if you touch it you'll feel pleasure, and you're biologically  more primed to reach an easy release.    As a woman, it's hidden within you, and needs a little more skill and coaxing to come out.  * * * * * By the way, there is a particular brand of deodorant which comes in a perfect, discreet,  dildo-sized bottle with a nice round top, that slips up wet pussies easily, and saves taking a  real dildo away on holiday with you.  Can someone please tell the designers/manufacturers  of this deodorant not to think of messing with the shape of the bottle to make it less pussy-  friendly!  If you have not worked out that you are selling the ultimate DUAL-PURPOSE  product, you need some sex, and marketing, education!  * * * * * But there is some sort of deep appeal – almost more emotional than sexual – about the  idea of 'men together', about them relating to you as a woman sexually, but also having an  engagement and relationship of some sort with each other.    It's an acknowledged phenomenon, I think, the fact that some women get emotionally  excited – even obsessed – by 'male relationships'.  By homoeroticism.   * * * * * Basically, bi threesomes are more interesting because there are just lots and lots of things  you can do with two bi guys that you can't do with two straight guys!    It's a question of how close they'll get to each other's cocks.    With bi guys – now I could leave this to your imagination, but I guess nothing's too explicit  to write about these days – with bi guys, theoretically at least (cos it's quite difficult to  achieve), you can get licked and fucked at the same time, cos one of them can get down  there and lick the action.  (The logistics are that one of the men lies on the bed, the woman  sits on his face, the other guy fucks from behind.) One of these days I'll come like that – at  the moment it remains a sexual ambition I haven't fulfilled.  * * * * * There is this amazing rapport on the gay casual sex scene, that maybe not that many  women have witnessed.  They're so matter of fact about it – it's so casual the way  experienced men present themselves for fucking or being fucked!    Never mind those female chimpanzees being casually promiscuous – nothing presents its  rump skyward with more ease than a true gay male slut!    They might say something like, "Ouch, watch it, not too deep" occasionally, but there's this  amazingly casual way that one guy will roll over and present his arse, and the other will line  up to fuck him, all with not much being said, but actually an amazing human trust and  understanding being exhibited.  * * * * * I don't mind sucking a load of cocks when you're in private and you can assume that the  guys have all just had a shower, or can pop into the bathroom just to make sure.  But the  thought of being at a busy party like that, and being presented with cocks that have been  up other women, or just been sucked by other women, or just had smelly condoms taken  off them, or just had spunk hurriedly wiped off them – sorry, but no thank you!    Something tells me that venue wasn't designed by a woman!    Nice décor, shame about the lack of washing facilities!  * * * * * It seems to be a recreational hazard of trying to organise gang bangs – finding reliable  people who will take you seriously and not let you down.    I get sick of discussing this with people, but there does seem to be a problem getting  people to turn up.  It seems like, though there are so many guys out there looking for sex,  when you actually try and pin people down to a date and a particular situation, it can be  bloody difficult to find enough cock!    I suppose there are those who like the idea of it, but bottle out at the last minute.  Or, as I  always think, people just don't prioritise these things in their lives – because it concerns  people they don't know, they don't care if they let them down.  So maybe they plan to come  when they make the arrangement, but if something comes up in their 'real lives', they'll just  let the 'contact' thing lapse, cos they don't care if they never see or hear from those people  again.  * * * * * I was meeting Colin and one of our nice regulars, and about four other guys at a particular  bar.  It was busy, and we all sat round this big table and I guess we may have been a bit  indiscreet about the things we were saying.  I was kissing several of the guys hello, and  being friendly with the one regular guy before Colin arrived – then he turned up and greeted  me with a kiss, and we related to each other like we were the couple.    I suddenly looked up and saw these two girls at a table nearby both looking at me with a  sort of incredulous and shocked expression. I wonder what they were thinking! It must have  been pretty obviously a scenario where one woman was meeting several men, clearly  being intimate with at least two of them, and then leaving with the whole lot!    I wonder if they worked out it was a gang bang.   * * * * * But on the down side, meeting with six bi guys isn't quite the same as meeting with six  straight guys – in terms of how I perceive it mentally.  In the bi situation, I'm just one of a  bunch of people who are all playing with each other.  If I had to leave, they'd all carry on  without me!  It makes me feel very relaxed and matter of fact about it.  I'm just joining in  with a bunch of other people; I don't have to deal with them all myself (though I probably  will!)   But I think I get more of a kick thinking about the straight groups, in advance.  Six randy  men with absolutely no interest in each other.  Six randy men who are just there for me!  * * * * * I've particularly noticed in contact ads, that time after time – honestly, more often than not –  a guy's profile will say 'straight' but when you actually ask him if he's bi and wants join a bi  group, he'll say yes.  Over and over again they actually turn out to be bi, but won't declare it  in their profiles – one guy told me why, once; so that they don't put off couples who only  want straight threesomes.  Men say they're straight cos they want to get in with that  straight, swinging scene – but bi-friendly women like me know better!    On the other hand, Colin always complains about it the other way round – that guys will  say they are bi, when invited to a bi gang bang, just to get in with the woman, but then don't  turn out to be that interested in the other men.  This really annoys him when it means he  doesn't get cock to suck; he's joked about getting them to prove they're bi by sucking him  first, before they're allowed to get to me!    I guess everyone's just out to get what they can!  * * * * * In general I think porn gives the wrong impression of sex because it shows what men want  to SEE, not what women want to FEEL.  So the interactions are always at a distance, and  hands off, so the camera can see the action.  There isn't a focus on TOUCH.  * * * * * I've sometimes read magazine type drivel where they talk about what women fantasize  about, and it tends to be tame rubbish like imagining the guy you're with is a famous film  star, or some sort of romantic 'lying on a moonlit beach' codswallop.    Very nice, but is that really what gets women off?    If so, I must be different.    I'm only aroused by the sorts of 'heavy' scenarios that a lot of men seem to get off on –  extreme sluttishness, multiple partners, male dominance, lots of cock and lots of spunk.  (Maybe I've got too much testosterone, or something.)  * * * * * In general my experience of dogging has been – well, half good, half bad.  I can never  really decide which side I fall on – let's say I have very mixed feelings about it.      Ambivalence has always been the pertinent word, when it comes to me and dogging.  I  can't help having negative feelings about it, because of some of the things that happened,  but I'm still hooked on the concept of it as a potentially interesting sexual activity!  * * * * * Initially the men would cluster round your car.  I enjoyed letting guys lean in through the  windows to play with me, or the other way round – I'd lean through their window and let  them play with my tits.     I always love the early stages of group events – standing outdoors, perhaps with no pants  and no bra on, letting a whole group of men stand round you and fondle your tits and your  pussy, while it's getting dark.    But then pretty soon, you get ushered into the bushes for the proper action.  * * * * * So we went in the sauna together and it was one of the really good times – lots of fondling  and playing in the hot tubs, doubtless with others joining in, and some childish fooling  around in the swimming pool.    I wasn't a great fan of swimming pools when I was a child, and certainly didn't do much of  the 'splashing about with friends on holiday' sort of thing – but it was a wonderful thing to  swim naked in a lovely warm indoor atmosphere, just from the physical enjoyment point of  view. But being with not one but TWO men who were both being intimate with you – having  them both reaching for you underwater, and kissing you and generally getting friendly in  corners of the pool – well, you can imagine how much I enjoyed it.    We went upstairs, and, as I might have said elsewhere, that's the place I first watched  men fuck.  * * * * * Yet another interesting SM threesome comes to mind – a particularly long and intense  session (I guess maybe SM sessions with serious players do tend to be more long and  intense that your average sexual encounter) with two guys in South London who appeared  to have a whole extra house which was only used for SM activity.  There were rails and rails  of rubber and leather stuff, and they were very into the whole thing.    The amazing thing about this is that it happened during my period.  I must have said I was  'out of action' for fucking, but somehow they'd talked me into it, or said they didn't mind and  why didn't we meet anyway.  We managed to do lots of kissing and sucking and whipping  and dressing up without anyone getting anywhere near my pussy, and as far as I was  concerned, it was a perfectly successful, and in a way particularly friendly, event.  I  remember lying between them and having them stroke and touch and spank me for ages,  and I had a really good time.    What a strange experience to have had – an evening with two bisexual rubber fetishists in  their secret rubber den, but no sex!  (Well, no fucking. SM is sex to me.)  * * * * * It's interesting that whether or not you see the fetish clubs as particularly sexual rather  depends on your own point of view and inclinations.  I would have to include them,  personally, as a feature of my own sex life.  But it's a wrong assumption that everything  fetish-related is overtly about sex.    I've found that there is a fetish and SM 'community' that only overlaps slightly with the  world of swinging.    Most couples who are into swapping and parties and group sex, aren't particularly into  SM.  Whilst there's a whole group of people who are very liberal and adventurous about  wearing outrageously sexual clothing, wandering round half naked at public events, and  getting spanked and whipped, and yet don't actually have sex outside of their relationships.  * * * * * Incidentally, I've always thought it must obviously be possible to love more than one person  at the same time.  If a woman has any number of children, it's not assumed that she can't  love four or five the same as she might love one.  There isn't a limited amount of love that  has to get shared out and diluted – if you have more children, you find more love within  yourself and love them all!  So if you can love nine children, what's the big deal about loving  two men?  * * * * * They started to strip me and strip off themselves and the atmosphere was good – they were  relaxed with each other, and up for it.    Pete knows what I like and gave me a nice dom moment, pushing me down on the bed,  with all the guys crowding round – fantastic to see them all above me in a group,  encouraging them to be a little rough.     Somehow before I knew it they were all naked all round me – it was fantastic having  naked men lying round everywhere I looked – they all looked so good, and stiff cocks  everywhere!    So then we got down to action.  I can't describe every bit of it, but it was everything I like –  men and cocks everywhere, changing combinations, changing positions.    I made sure that I sucked everyone so no-one felt neglected, and they were all lovely and  clean.  I got some nice comments about the oral being great!     The best thing of all – and I hadn't necessarily expected this – was that I got a 100% fuck  rate; six men and all six fucked me no problem up the pussy!  No condom problems, all stiff  and up for it, and all coming all over the place.  * * * * * Honestly, if there's one thing I'm sure of in this life, it's that I am NOT A ONE MAN  WOMAN!!"  * * * * *